


그대로 있어도 돼 (It’s Okay to Stay Like This)

by peachienyoungie



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, And lol this was originally my english assignment, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Help, How Do I Tag, M/M, Mutual Pining, Strangers to Lovers, lovers to strangers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-07-18 21:44:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16127351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachienyoungie/pseuds/peachienyoungie
Summary: Jaebum and Jinyoung had always been inseparable until they were separated. That one night tore them apart. After their reunion, they tried to mend their relationship and achieve what they had before (keyword: tried)orthat jjp fic where they got together and then broke up and then got back together again.





	1. Chapter 1

“I can’t! I just can’t! This is too hard!”

Time slowly passed as Jinyoung clutched his hair in frustration.

“It’s already been two hours and I still have nothing!”

“Chill, it’s just an assignment. How hard can it be?” Jinyoung glared at his friends who were sitting across him, laughing at his pain.

Studying as a literature major at Seoul National University had always been demanding. However, as Jinyoung was approaching his last year, his caffeine intake and stress levels had been higher than ever. Jinyoung had been sitting at the café with his friends for the whole afternoon, with his notepad and pen in hand. Sadly, no inspirations or ideas were coming in mind for his major assessment task. Nothing. Instead he was very distracted by his _lovely_  friends. He had been looking at Mark and Jackson being all lovey-dovey, Youngjae ranting about the sad single life and BamBam and Yugyeom bickering pettily over the tiniest things for the past few hours.

Looking out the window, Jinyoung noticed the cloudless blue sky had gradually turned dark and gloomy.

“How is end of year treating you?” Jinyoung had never said it aloud, but it was pretty obvious that Youngjae was the favourite. It was pretty hard to not love this fluffy ball of sunshine.

“It’s been alright. Not as stressful as yours,” Youngjae joked.

“Well, since you have nothing to do. Wanna help with my assessment task?” Jinyoung asked, though already knowing the answer fully well.

Youngjae rolled his eyes, “Hyung, as much as I love you, I have my own work to do as well. Hyung, go bother Bammie or Gyeomie. It’s not like they have anything important they have to do.”

And Youngjae went back to his laptop to avoid the elder from pestering him. Jinyoung turned to the Markson couple for help but the two turned away before Jinyoung could even say anything. As their conversation continued, rain started falling outside. People ran for cover and umbrellas were opened as the clouds spat out drops of water. Puddles began to form as the rain became heavier. A particular man on the street caught Jinyoung’s attention. The attractive stranger reminded him of someone he used to know.

Someone he used to be familiar with.

Too familiar with.

The man was extremely disheveled, auburn hair all damp with bangs sticking onto his forehead. Shirt soaking wet, gluing onto his athletic body. Piercings dangled from his ears as the man sprinted closer and closer towards the café. He ran into the café, panting while catching his breath. Water dribbling down his face, the two moles above his eye seemed like they would melt and drip down as well. Jinyoung overheard him ordering at the counter, “a hot Americano for Jaebum please. Thank you.”

 

***

 

“Jaebum hyung!” Before Jaebum could even react, he felt a figure running into his arms.

“I got in! I got into your university!”

Jaebum was over the moon when he heard the news. His favourite dongsaeng, his favourite person was going to stay with him for the years to come. He read the acceptance letter again and again, tears of happiness filling to the brim of his eyes. Jaebum hugged him with all his strength, crushing the younger with overflowing excitement and affection. Jaebum looked down at the former, staring at his own reflection from those sparkling eyes he had loved. Jaebum leaned in and left a soft kiss on the younger’s forehead.

“I’m proud.”

“So proud, Nyoung-ah.” He beamed and whispered tenderly.

***

As Jaebum was scanning the room for a seat, a figure at the corner of the room caught his eyes. The raven-haired man slumped on the table, looking distressed. He slowly sat up and casually browsed the room, as if he was trying to find someone.

When their eyes locked, they both froze and stared at each other. And Jaebum suddenly forgot how to breathe.

There were many nights when he laid in bed, thinking about their reunion. Jaebum ran through so many scenarios but he never realised that it would actually happen.

Jinyoung.

 _His_ Jinyoung.

Those eyes that Jaebum loved for years were so close yet so far away.

After what seemed like an eternity later, Jinyoung broke away first.

 _What happened to staying with each other?_ Jaebum thought bitterly as he drank his coffee which had already turned cold.

 

***

 

Jinyoung clutched Jaebum’s hand under the dinner table. Jaebum gently rubbed his thumb in a circular motion to comfort Jinyoung.

 _It’s just coming over for dinner, I’ve done this so many times. What’s there to worry about?_ Jinyoung tried to comfort himself sitting on the chair restlessly.

“Eomma, Appa. Jinyoung and I have something we want to tell you,” Jaebum spoke with determination as he raised their connected hands. “We like each other.”

“Of course you do, you silly child. You’re best friends.”

“Not in that way though.” Jaebum gazed into Jinyoung’s eyes before he smiled and said, “We’re dating.”

His parents’ jaw dropped as their eyes widened in disbelief, “I’m sure it’s just a phase. Being homosexual is just like having an illness, it’ll go away very soon.”

“I think you misunderstood. We’re both very serious about this,” Jinyoung added.

The friendly conversations happening just a few minutes ago, was now replaced by uncomfortable silence. Tension spread throughout the room.

“I think you misunderstood us as well. I will not accept my only son as a faggot. You will marry a girl we approve and carry on the family name,” Jaebum’s dad yelled as he glared at the both of them. He turned to Jinyoung, “And as for you, young man. You will stay away from my son, as far as possible." He looked at them with disgust and scowled. "You are such disgraces. Both of you.”

Jaebum and Jinyoung fled the house that night, away from the screaming and crying from Jaebum’s parents.

“At least you have me,” Jinyoung said softly, trying to lift the mood.

Jaebum hugged the younger, looking into Jinyoung’s deep eyes. “I know this is selfish of me but promise you will stay with me. Till the end,” he said, slowly and fearfully.

“Promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!! thank you for reading this crap, i'm really sorry if the plot was too rush. it was for an english assignment and the word limit was 1000, so i just had to speed everything up, hopefully we'll start to slow down next chapter. also, i'm very happy to any comments and feedback. anyways, it's school holidays rn so i'll try to update more often!
> 
> kudos and comments appreciated ;V;


	2. Chapter 2

"Hyung, stop staring at that guy! You look like a creep!" BamBam's comment brought Jinyoung back from his thoughts.  
"Your gay is showing," Jackson teased.  
"Oh I know that guy! He's in the dance club as well, he's really good at b-boying. I think his name is Jaebum,“ Yugyeom added.

Youngjae glanced at Jinyoung anxiously. He knew both of them since high school and he knew perfectly well that they were torn apart from that one event. Youngjae still remembered the many times Jinyoung cried himself to sleep and the many times he sat with Jaebum late at night to make sure he won’t do anything stupid while being heavily intoxicated.

“Should we invite him to sit with us, he looks lonely,” Yugyeom suggested, being the nice person he is.  
“I don’t think that’s a good id-“ Youngjae hissed.  
“Sure. Why not?” It’s not like Jinyoung couldn’t face his ex-boyfriend. What happened was in the past, besides it’s not that hard to pretend that they don’t know each other.  
“Hyung,” Youngjae whispered, “You know you don’t have to force yourself.”

Their friends all looked confused, not knowing what was going on.

“Why not? He knows Yugyeom and you and he’s sitting alone. Why not invite him over to make him feel better?” Jinyoung tried lifting up the mood. Even though Youngjae and him both knew that was completely a lie.  
Youngjae sighed, knowing fully well when Jinyoung was stubborn, nobody else could change his mind.

When Jaebum sat down with the group, tension in the air thickened. Nobody dared to move or say anything, they just watched Jinyoung and Jaebum.

Finally, Jaebum broke the ice. “So Youngjae-ah. How’s life?”  
"It's been alright. I missed seeing you though, hyung. Feels like a decade since we met." Youngjae reminisced.  
Jaebum smiled at his words. He always doted on Youngjae, the younger was like a brother he never had. Youngjae immediately introduced Jaebum to his friends to avoid the tension from expanding. And to Youngjae’s relieve, social butterfly Jackson brought the mood up again with his loud chatter and hyena laugh.

Jaebum looked at Jinyoung silently while he was bickering with Jackson about not going out with him to eat meat or something like that, Jaebum wasn’t paying attention to the conversation. He was looking at Jinyoung, the same way he did for years. Jinyoung felt Jaebum’s eyes on him but when he turned to his direction, Jaebum was stirring his coffee nonchalantly. Jinyoung didn’t even realise he was staring again until Youngjae tapped him. The younger looked him with concern and Jinyoung smiled back to tell him he’s alright.

“So Jaebum hyung, how did you know Jinyoung hyung?” Sad to say, Yugyeom is often ashamed of his boyfriend’s inability to read the room. Jaebum and Jinyoung both froze when they heard the question, neither of them knew how to answer it. If eyes could kill, BamBam would’ve already died from Youngjae’s lethal stares. Mark and Jackson just quietly watched Jaebum and Jinyoung, not wanting to interrupt or say anything more.

“Um…we…um...” Jaebum tried to act natural but no words were coming through.  
“We were friends,” Jinyoung answered for him, pretending to be unaffected.  
Jaebum snapped up as soon as he heard Jinyoung’s voice. _Is that all we are? Friends?_ Jaebum had so many things to ask and confront Jinyoung directly but at what position was he to do that.  
“Ooh past tense I see,” BamBam teased, still unknown to the awkward situation he created. “I-“  
“I think you should shut up now,” Youngjae stepped in.  
“But hyung,” The Thai boy whined.  
“Bam-ah, I still have the old laptop at home,” Mark commented quietly and effectively made the younger from asking further questions and making the scenario more awkward than it has to be.  
“Um, we should go now. We have to study for a test,” Yugyeom practically dragged his boyfriend with him. “See you guys later.”  
Mark and Jackson left as well with some pathetic excuses they came up with and left the three old friends at the cafe on their own.

Youngjae scanned his hyungs’ faces. Both of them seemed like they had so much to say to the other but neither of them wanted to say anything.  
Youngjae tried to keep the conversation going. “So Jaebum hyung. What are you majoring in right now?”  
“Art major and music minor. You?”  
“Music major, I’m still on my long way to becoming a music therapist.” Jaebum knows that it’s been Youngjae’s dreams for many years and he’s proud that the younger still hasn’t change. “But, hyung. How have I never seen you around the Music Department?”  
“Because he doesn’t go to our university, Youngjae,” Jinyoung interrupted harshly, finally gazing into Jaebum’s eyes. He noticed Jaebum wavered as if he was trying to explain himself. “He doesn’t go here anymore. Because of me, isn’t it?” Jinyoung looked down as soon as he finished, not wanting to match Jaebum’s eyes.  
“Nyoung-ah, you know that’s not true,” Jaebum whispered, defending himself from the accusation.  
Jinyoung looked up as soon as he heard the nickname. How long has it been since he last heard it? Ever since they parted, nobody had ever called him that anymore. Two years had passed but the way Jaebum says it still does weird things to Jinyoung’s heart.  
“Well then Jaebum-ssi, I am sorry for accusing you wrongly,” Jinyoung fought back.  
“Jinyoung-ah,” Jaebum sighed tiredly. “Does it need to be so distant between us? What happened to us?”

There it is.

The unspoken question between them.

The question they both had been asking themselves for years.

The question they both wanted to ask the other since the second they met.

“He’s right. I left. I’m at Yonsei now.” Jaebum ignored the reaction Jinyoung had from his question and he avoided answering it himself. “And no. It’s not because of you Jinyoung. Stop thinking so highly of yourself.  
“True. We don’t have anything to do with each other’s lives anymore, Jaebum-ssi. I apologise for what I said.” Jinyoung packed his things away as he was speaking, “I’ll see you around, Youngjae.” And left without saying another word to Jaebum.  
Youngjae watched Jinyoung worriedly as the elder walked out. “Hyung. What happened to you two?”  
“I don’t know and I don’t care,” Jaebum cried in frustration and anger.  
Youngjae knew the elder was lying but he didn’t want to push further. He changed the subject of the conversation and a certain name was never brought up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again thank you so much for reading this fic. english is not my first language so please forgive me if i used some words wrongly or there are some grammatical errors. feel free to comment and tell me what you think and thank you so much for the kudos <3
> 
> kudos and comments appreciated ;V;


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His chest slowly rose and fell (like their relationship ooft)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!! I'm back

Jinyoung couldn’t fall asleep that night. All that was coming to mind was a certain auburn-haired male. He knew he couldn’t stay in the cafe today. Two years might have passed but it still felt like as if Jaebum could read his mind, knowing fully well what Jinyoung was thinking. Jaebum’s figure, voice, expressions, everything were lingering in the back of Jinyoung’s mind. He would be lying if he said he never once thought about the elder in the past two years. Yet nothing would change the fact that the damage was done, and nothing could reverse that.

 

Jinyoung’s phone started buzzing as he was drifting off into his slumber. “Jackson, I swear if-“

“Nyoung-ah, it’s hyung.”

_Oh._

“What do you want?” Jinyoung said in a deadpanned manner, hundreds of thoughts running though his mind.

“Nyoung-ahhhhhh,” Jaebum whined cutely.

“What?”

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are~” Jinyoung was thankful that the elder is not in front of him right now, otherwise he would be so embarrassed on how much he is blushing right now.

“If you don’t have anything you want to say, I’m gonna hang up now. Have a good night, Jaebum-ssi.” Jinyoung finished the call hastily before Jaebum could say anything more. He tried to ignore the fluttering feeling in his chest and went back to sleep.

However, Jinyoung was interrupted again by the buzzing from his phone.

 

“Nyoung-ahhhhhh. Do you know how much I’ve missed you…” Jaebum’s husky voice came from the other side of the phone and Jinyoung’s mind was completely blank. The quick-witted and savage Jinyoung was replaced by a shocked and speechless mask. It wasn’t that Jinyoung never thought about the same thing, he just never thought Jaebum would have ever voiced out his thoughts. Jinyoung wasn’t paying attention to what his ex-boyfriend was saying anymore. He was contemplating whether he should say it back.

Jaebum went on, “I missed you so so much. I’m so happy I saw you today…Can we talk?”

“Jaebum-ssi, I think you’re drunk,” Jinyoung sighed, it’s best if they keep their distance. As much as he wanted to tell Jaebum he would love to talk, history doesn’t need to repeat itself.

 

“Nyoung-ah…Can you pick me up? I want to see you so much,” Jaebum begged, hoping Jinyoung wouldn't hang up again. Wishing the alcohol could give him an excuse to be thick-skinned and selfish and just hear the voice he had been longing for two years.

“I…I…” Jinyoung couldn’t help but soften from hearing the question. He knew that Jaebum was capable of going home on his own but the thought of Jaebum getting injured and being taken advantage of made his blood boil.

“Please, Nyoungie…. Just this once,” He could envision how the situation would turn out the next morning, how regretful he would be, yet something was tugging at his heart, urging him to give Jaebum a second chance.

Nothing was coming from the other side of the phone and Jaebum thought of giving up. _Of course. What do I expect?_ Just as he was about to brush it off casually, Jinyoung replied. “Just send me the address,” he said, tiredly and hung up.

Jinyoung received a text notification a second later and sighed. _I’m going to regret this so much._ He slowly climbed out of bed, and threw on the first thing he could find and left the apartment.

 

When Jinyoung arrived at the bar, he found the elder lying on a couch with a drink in his hand. Jinyoung shook his head when he saw the table in front of Jaebum, filled with empty cups. He slowly walked up to the intoxicated elder.

Jinyoung knelt down to match Jaebum’s eyes. “Hi,” he staggered, not knowing what to say. The anxiety of coming face-to-face with his ex-boyfriend started to hit him.

“Nyoung-ah! I’m so glad you came,” Jaebum latched onto Jinyoung as soon as the younger came closer. The stench of alcohol from Jaebum's clothes filled Jinyoung's nose. “Have a drink,” he turned to a waiter passing by. Before Jaebum could order anything, the younger stopped him.

“I think you’ve had enough,” Jinyoung said, trying not show his worry for the older. “So…Do you want to talk?”

Jaebum felt like his heart accelerate when he heard the question, he turned to face the younger and pretend he didn’t hear it. “Nyoung-ah, just have a drink with me. We haven’t done this in so long,” he whined.

Jinyoung ignored Jaebum and tried to lift the elder up, “If you don’t want to talk, then let’s go. It’s late and you’ve had too much already.”

“But Nyoung-ah, I don’t want to go home. I just want to stay with you. Can’t you be mine again?” Jaebum pulled Jinyoung into his embrace. Jinyoung could feel his face burning, and the younger thanked his lucky stars that the elder didn’t see his reaction.

Jinyoung ignored Jaebum’s words and started dragging the auburn-haired male towards the door, “I don’t care. You’re coming home with me right now.” Jaebum’s heartbeat increased when he heard what Jinyoung said. He knew that they should keep their distance but Jaebum couldn’t help but cross the line and flirt with the younger.

 

Since the elder refused to tell him his address, Jinyoung decided to take him back to his place. As much as Jinyoung wanted to avoid trouble, he just didn’t have the heart to leave Jaebum alone in the bar.

“Ohh, seems like our Nyoungie finally got his license after so long,” Jaebum teased as he was sitting in the passenger seat next to the younger. He still remembered how nervous Jinyoung was when he was preparing for his driving test and the sadness on his face when he found out he failed. Jaebum once promised the raven-haired male that he would help him practise and that promise was never fulfilled and it seemed now that Jinyoung didn’t need the elder anymore, Jaebum thought bitterly.

 

After the long and awkward car ride, they finally got back to Jinyoung’s apartment and the younger had never been happier to be home.

“You can take my bed, I’ll sleep on the couch,” Jinyoung said, showing Jaebum the way to his room.

“Nyoung-ah, I’m just a guest. You take your own bed, hyung can sleep on the couch.”

Jinyoung, however, insisted that the elder following his orders. Jinyoung knew how much it would hurt Jaebum’s back if he spent a night on the couch. He still remembered that time when the elder was injured and how much pain it put the both of them in.

“Fine but if I’m sleeping in your bed, you are as well,” Jaebum didn’t give Jinyoung a chance to say anything and pulled the younger into his embrace, falling into the bed behind them. Jinyoung wanted to say something more but as he turned his head, he saw Jaebum peacefully sleeping next to him. Jinyoung allowed a sleepy sigh to escape from his lips, as he curled into Jaebum’s arms and his warmth. The two decided that they would both be selfish for today and worry later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all, i'm really sorry that i took so long. i was pretty stuck on the chapter and it was also their comeback so that kept me pretty busy (7 wins wooo). and i want to thank @michmich for reading and correcting my stuff over and over again the summary was her idea as well hahahahha
> 
> kudos and comments appreciated ;V;


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the morning after that came a month later XP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You waited so long, I’m so sorry  
> Now I made up my mind, are you ready ;)

Sunlight crept through the curtains and the birds chirping from outside indicated that a new day had already started. Jaebum slowly opened his eyes, and felt someone in his embrace. He turned to see Jinyoung curled up comfortably on his side with his head resting on Jaebum’s shoulder and another arm draped across Jaebum’s torso. He couldn’t help but admire Jinyoung’s profile. His soft hair that he had always refused to dye, his distinct and sharp jawline, his cute and big ears that no one appreciated as much as he did, how Jinyoung scrunched up his face whenever Jaebum pinched his nose...

 And lastly, Jinyoung’s eyes.

 Jaebum always lost himself whenever he looked into those eyes. Even though, they were closed right now, Jaebum could still remember how captivating they were. His eyes slowly drifted down to Jinyoung’s lips, they were still as plump and pink as Jaebum remembered them to be. He would never forget how soft those lips were and how magical it was when they shared their first kiss. Jaebum slowly leaned in and left a peck on Jinyoung’s lips, careful not to wake the younger. It was too short for Jaebum’s liking but he knew he didn't deserve to kiss Jinyoung even longer after what he had done. Regardless, he fell into temptation and allowed himself to steal a kiss from Jinyoung's lips. He sat back up, savouring the lingering touch.

 Jaebum gently detached himself from Jinyoung and put a pillow next to the younger to replace himself. Jaebum allowed himself to admire Jinyoung for a few more moments and left the room. He was aware that he was being a coward but he didn’t dare stay for too long. He was the one who pushed Jinyoung away and it just wasn’t right to be selfish and pull Jinyoung back for himself. Jaebum didn’t want this to be their last encounter but at the same time, he couldn't risk the younger getting into trouble because of him. He stuck a note on the fridge and left the apartment quietly, forcing himself to not look back.

 Jinyoung opened his eyes as soon as he heard Jaebum left the room. He touched his lips, trying to savour the warmth and the sweetness from the elder’s lips. He didn’t say anything because he wanted to see how far Jaebum would go but he stopped. It was wrong, but Jinyoung couldn’t help but feel disappointed when Jaebum left after the kiss. Jinyoung missed kissing the elder whenever and wherever he wanted to, as he would continuously lose himself and enjoy the serenity and comfort of being around Jaebum. But all of that was gone now and nothing would ever return to how it was. He drowned in his thoughts for a few minutes and left to the kitchen to grab his morning coffee, the yellow memo on the fridge catching his attention. He briefly read it and shoved it into his sweatpants pocket.

***

 Youngjae’s whining came through from the other side of the phone. “Hyung, it’s not negotiable, everyone has to go. It’s a group gathering!” Before Jinyoung could say anything, Youngjae already hung up on him.

This had been their third so-called group gathering/movie night after the maknaes invited Jaebum to join their small group of six. Jinyoung got out of the last two with “Oh, it’s mum’s birthday” and “I’m not feeling well today” but this time none of his friends were taking excuses anymore. It’s not that Jinyoung didn’t want to see Jaebum, on the contrary, he had been secretly wishing that he did bump into the elder. However he knew, they both knew, that meeting again would result in painful memories reappearing and reminding them of what they used to be.

***

Jaebum was standing in front of Yugyeom and BamBam’s shared apartment. This was only his third time hanging out with a new group of friends, but luckily all of them were very friendly and welcoming as they quickly accepted a new member. He was also thankful that Jinyoung didn’t show up in the past two gatherings, so he could keep the distance between them and avoid throwing himself onto his ex-boyfriend. The yelling and chattering from the apartment brought a smile onto Jaebum’s face. Without thinking much more, he pressed his finger on the doorbell.

Jinyoung was lying on the couch, watching his friends rushing around the apartment to get ready for their movie night.

“Jinyoung-ah, can you go get that? We’re all busy,” Yugyeom yelled from the kitchen. _Ugh, this brat. He should be thankful that murder is a crime_. Jinyoung stared at the back of Yugyeom’s skull as he made his way to the door. The doorbell rang again and Jinyoung slowly opened the door, “Geez, give the man some ti-“ He stopped in his tracks and stared at the person standing outside the door. “Umm… Hi…Umm” Jinyoung knew that Jaebum would be here tonight but he still wasn’t prepared to see the elder. Jinyoung didn’t know how long he was looking at the elder until he could hear him chuckling, “Are you gonna let me in Nyoung? Or are we gonna stand here all night?” Jaebum smirked, curling his lips while looking at Jinyoung amusedly. Jinyoung snapped back into the moment, flushes of red colouring his cheeks. He moved to the side to let the elder walk in while brushing off the embarrassment.

 ***

“Why are we watching this?” Mark scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Because it’s good!” BamBam exclaimed.

“We need an air-con here for Mark hyung,” Youngjae laughed in his boisterous voice.

“RIP BamBam, he lived a good life,” Jackson said emphatically.

There they were, seven grown men sitting in the living room watching The Emoji Movie because BamBam insisted, “it’s a classic”. At the end, they all gave up on the movie and just had a chit-chat session instead.

“Soooo… anyone have any updates on their love lives?” Jackson casually brought up the topic while eyeing his best friend. Jinyoung had been texting on his phone the whole night and Jackson was not going to let it go unnoticed. Therefore, being Park Gae’s other half, Wang Gae made it his responsibility to call out his best friend in front of everyone.

“Don’t think we haven’t noticed that you’ve been on your phone all night,” Jackson commented nonchalantly.

Immediately, everyone turned to look at Jinyoung.

“No…No one…” Jinyoung staggered. He felt Jaebum staring at him from the other side of the room and he tried to ignore the apologetic feeling that bubbling in his chest.

“Come on, hyung. Tell us!” BamBam and Youngjae begged with their sparkling puppy eyes and Jinyoung knew immediately that he was going to lose.

“Fine,” Jinyoung sighed. “It’s Hyunwoo hyung. We ran into each other the other day and we started talking again,” he said, trying not to look at Jaebum’s direction.

 The three of them used to be good friends but when Jinyoung and Jaebum started dating, Jaebum got really jealous of Hyunwoo. No matter how many times, Jinyoung reassured the elder that there was nothing between him and Hyunwoo, yet Jaebum refused to believe. At the end, Jinyoung stopped talking to Hyunwoo and they slowly drifted apart. Jinyoung didn’t even find out Hyunwoo changed schools until Youngjae brought it up about three months later. They ran into each other last week when Jinyoung was rushing to class without looking where he was going. They exchanged numbers and had been texting for the past week. Jinyoung had been convincing himself that he had nothing to do with Jaebum anymore and the elder couldn’t do anything about his decisions anymore but he felt guilty as soon as he brought up Hyunwoo’s name. He knew Jaebum well enough that he knows the said man was probably brought down without having to look at him. 

Jaebum felt as if his heart stopped when he heard Hyunwoo’s name coming out of Jinyoung’s mouth. He had been suspicious the whole night when Jinyoung was constantly on the phone but didn’t want to say anything because it clearly wasn’t his place to. Hyunwoo was a good friend of his with dance being their common passion, call Jaebum overthinking but he felt that Hyunwoo always had feelings for Jinyoung. It wasn’t a problem until Jaebum found out that he was in love with his best friend and when they started dating. Now that _Jaebum and Jinyoung_ is no longer a thing, Jaebum didn’t dare to think what kind of relationship Hyunwoo and Jinyoung would start together.

 “Ooohhhh, Hyunwoo hyung. Isn’t he in the same department as Markipoo?” Jackson looked over to his boyfriend who waswatching the drama unfold before him.

“He is one fine looking specimen,” BamBam added, ignoring how much Yugyeom was pouting next to him.

The five sat around speechlessly while the JackBam duo was thinking about how “buff and good looking Hyunwoo hyung is”. Youngjae glanced over at Jaebum and Jinyoung, the two sitting quietly, not saying anything or looking at each other. The younger immediately regretted for pushing Jinyoung to reveal who he was talking to.

“Sooooo, Jinyoungie tell us! What stage are you up to with that beautiful looking human being?” Jackson being the nosy person he is asked.

“Nothing! We haven’t done anything yet! We’ve just been texting,” Jinyoung replied hurriedly as if trying to explain himself to a certain someone in the room. As if on cue, Jinyoung’s phone lit up with an text notification from Hyunwoo.

“Yet?” Jaebum asked, venom evident in his voice.

“Oh my God! It’s him again! What did he say?” Yugyeom fanboyed, ignoring Jaebum’s comment. Great. Even Yugyeom was interested in this nonsense now, Jinyoung sighed to himself.

“He asked if I want to grab coffee tomorrow,” Jinyoung said while not-so-subtly eyeing Jaebum.

“Awww, that’s so cute!” Youngjae couldn’t help but feel happy for Jinyoung, he knew that both of his hyungs had not moved on but at least one of them was trying to make progress, keyword trying.

 Six university students were now sitting in a circle, gossiping like teenage girls talking about their crush. Jaebum felt like outsider next to them. The only thing that was coming to mind was the lingering thought of Jinyoung’s date with Hyunwoo. He was jealous, he knew very well.

But just because he was jealous, it didn’t mean he ever deserved Jinyoung.

Especially after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii! I'm finally back! Woooo! I'm really sorry that I've been so inactive, school just started a few weeks ago and I was super occupied by that. Also, I might not be able to update in the next coming month either because of exams. I hope you guys like this chapter and I'll be back in a few weeks (hopefully) when school finishes!
> 
> STAN GOT7
> 
> kudos and comments appreciated <33


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's finally back!!!

Jinyoung wasted at least 20 minutes, standing in front of his closet deciding what to wear to his coffee date with Hyunwoo. He was initially going to turn the elder down because Jinyoung still didn't think he was ready to commit again since the last relationship still hurt. His friends, however, didn’t give him that chance. They all insisted that he should take up the offer and at least see it as a catch-up session with an old friend. Surprisingly, even Jaebum agreed, though the unwillingness was evident on his face. Jinyoung decided not to think about it anymore and threw on a white t-shirt, his favourite pair of worn out jeans and a leather jacket. 

 

Jaebum was behind the counter, waiting for customers to arrive. He noticed earlier that Hyunwoo walked into the cafe and he just couldn’t stop staring at the elder. Luckily, Hyunwoo didn’t notice him. Otherwise, the younger wouldn’t know how to deal with him. Slacking on his job, he occupied himself by staring into Hyunwoo‘s skull, thinking of useless threats. He heard the bell at the door ringing and he saw Jinyoung rushing in. _Someone’s eager for their date_ , Jaebum whispered to himself wryly. The younger had his eyes on Hyunwoo and wasn’t looking where he was going and was about to hit to a waiter, Jaebum immediately saw that as an opportunity to be the knight in shining armour and ran up to catch Jinyoung.

 

“Whoa Nyoung-ah, you really need to watch where you’re going,” Jinyoung heard Jaebum’s voice teased as he was being gently up.

 

 _Shit. Why is he here?_ Jinyoung’s eyes flickered when he heard the question. _Out of all days why do I have to see him today and now?_

 

Before Jinyoung had time to answer, his other arm was dragged by someone else. “Jaebum-ssi, thank you but I can take care of Jinyoungie on my own.” And Jinyoung got pulled away before he could say anything more to Jaebum. A pint of guilt hit Jinyoung when he saw the elder’s hand swinging awkwardly in the air. Hyunwoo took Jinyoung to where he was sitting earlier, and being the gentleman Hyunwoo is, he kindly pulled out the chair for Jinyoung.

“So Jinyoung-ah, would you like anything to drink or eat?” Hyunwoo avoided bringing up the incident and swiftly went into their date.

They ordered coffee and some cake and started chatting.

“I haven’t seen you for so long! I wouldn’t even know that we go to the same university if you didn’t bump into me the other day,” Jinyoung was glad that Hyunwoo started the conversation because he had no idea how to move on from the uncomfortable situation.

“I’ve been alright, a bit busy though because of the end of the year. By the way hyung, what department are you in right now?”

“Well, I’m-“

“Here’s your coffee and strawberry cakes” Hyunwoo was interrupted by Jaebum who was putting down their order. Jinyoung tried to ignore the staring contest between the two older men and focused on sipping his coffee.

“Thank you Jaebum-ah. You can just leave it here,” the dismissal was evident in Hyunwoo’s voice. Sensing that Jaebum hadn’t moved, Jinyoung looked up, just to see that the elder was gazing into his eyes. The desperate look that he conveyed seemed to be begging Jinyoung to stay. Jinyoung looked back into Jaebum’s eyes, wanting to tell the elder what he wanted to hear but before the younger could form sentences, a cough came from the other side of the table.

“The coffee tastes a bit weird,” Hyunwoo said annoyedly.

“I quite like it,” Jinyoung whispered under his breath.

“Hyunwoo-ssi, I can change it for you if you if it’s not to your liking,” Jaebum rebutted, acting like the good employee he is.

“Nah, it’s fine. I’ll just suffer,” Hyunwoo replied and went back to his conversation with Jinyoung, ignoring Jaebum who walked back to the counter.

“So hyung, you haven’t told me what department you’re in right now?” Jinyoung carried on.

“International relations, just thought I’ll try something new.”

 

Jaebum slowly walked back to the counter and the conversation of the two faded from his mind. Instead, his focus changed to the jacket Jinyoung was wearing. The jacket was more than familiar, it was Jinyoung’s birthday present for Jaebum when he turned 16. Being the best friends and couple they were, they used to share each other’s clothes and the younger somehow always loved wearing Jaebum’s oversize hoodies and leather jackets. Now seeing the jacket again, memories of their love and the pain of breaking up hit Jaebum again. He lost count of the times he told himself to move on and stop thinking of the younger but it was easier said than done.

Especially when he sees that the younger still kept one of his clothes for two years since their ugly breakup. Jaebum started overthinking that Jinyoung wore it on purpose to show the elder that he had moved on and the jacket didn’t hold any special meaning to him anymore or maybe on the other hand, Jinyoung wore it to show Hyunwoo that he had no interest in starting a relationship, and that he secretly still had feelings for Jaebum.

 

Jaebum’s spiral of thoughts was put to a stop when Jinyoung left to walk to the bathroom, leaving Hyunwoo who charged up to the counter with fire in his eyes.

“Jaebum, you were the one who cut him off. Stop pretending that you still like him and stop asking for his pity. He’s not yours anymore,” Hyunwoo cut straight to the chase.

“He’s not a possession, stop talking about him like he’s an object.” Jaebum retorted sharply. “And yes, we might not be a thing anymore. That still doesn’t mean you can and will win over his heart. You failed once and you will fail again.”

“You-“Seeing Jinyoung walking towards them, Hyunwoo stopped himself before he said anymore.

“Hyung, I had a nice time today. Let’s hang out again soon.” Jinyoung ignored Jaebum’s presence and forced himself to focus on Hyunwoo.

“Me too, Jinyoung-ah. I’ll look forward to second date,” Hyunwoo winked leaving a blushing Jinyoung and a furious Jaebum who was clenching his fists out of their sight.

 

***

 

Jinyoung went home that late afternoon with Jaebum on his mind instead of Hyunwoo. He took out his phone and called his best friend, hoping that his soulmate (what Jackson refers himself as) would have something useful to say about Jinyoung’s date. Being the good friend Jackson is, he showed up at Jinyoung’s door five minutes later banging on the doorbell. That’s how Jinyoung’s day, as finished in watching random shows and munching on the pizza they ordered, Jinyoung gossiped to Jackson about his day.

“Sooooo, Jinyoung-ie, how was it?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know,” Jackson eyed Jinyoung carefully.

“Let’s just say that a certain someone was there as well.”

“You mean Jaebum hyung?” Sometimes, Jinyoung really hates how quickly Jackson could connect the dots.

“Maybe…” Jinyoung answered slowly, avoiding eye contact.

“Oh my God. Please tell me you didn’t look at Jaebum hyung with those weird ogly eyes again.”

“What do you mean?”

“You do realise that you two looks at each other really weirdly right. I might not have known what happened between the two of you but it’s pretty obvious that something happened.” Again, Jinyoung really hates how Jackson was so observant sometimes.

“It’s not _that_ obvious,” Jinyoung argued.

“Are you kidding me? Even BamBam caught on that something was going on, and that’s BamBam.” _Okay, maybe Jackson does have a point._

 

“So is he your ex-boyfriend?” Jackson asked directly and Jinyoung immediately spat out the water he was drinking. “So he is! I knew it! Hahaha, Markipoo owes me and Yugyeom 20 bucks now.” Jackson’s smile made Jinyoung really wanted to punch him in the face, as he wrote a mental note again that he needs new friends.

“You bet on us?!” To be very honest, Jinyoung was not as surprised as he would be.

“Of course!” Jackson smiled proudly. “We asked Youngjae to join as well but he said he already knew so we kicked him out. I mean it’s not very fair if he joins when he already knows he’ll win.”

Jinyoung was very dumbfounded at this point. He thought he hid his feelings very well, since none of his friends, besides Youngjae, asked about it. It’s clear now that they all know and just pretended probably to make Jinyoung feel better about himself because his pride would never allow him to admit that he still had feelings for his ex-boyfriend who dumped him.

 

“Tell me, Jinyoung-ie. Why did you go out with Hyunwoo hyung when you’re clearly still in love with Jaebum hyung?”

“I don’t know.” Jinyoung sighed. “I thought I forgot about Jaebum hyung, it’s been two years already. But then when he showed up at the cafe that day, it was clear that that was not the case.” Jinyoung was glad that there was finally someone else he could talk to about his feelings. He used to only have Youngjae but he didn’t want to constantly burden the younger anymore, knowing that Youngjae found it painful seeing the two of them treating each other like this.

 

“Why don’t you just swallow up your pride for once and face your feelings?” Jackson asked the question Jinyoung had been asking himself for the past few months since he saw Jaebum again. Even though he had been repeating the question too any times to count, Jackson saying it made the situation much more real.

“I don’t know,” Jinyoung answered, repeating the same answer that he always had.

Jinyoung stared outside the window, letting himself drift off into his thoughts. Jackson looked at his best friend with concern. He didn’t what happened to them both but he still wanted to try his best to make his best friend happy.

“I’m scared of getting hurt again,” Jinyoung whispered softly.

Jackson held Jinyoung’s hand and smiled comfortingly at him. Jinyoung positioned his head on Jackson’s shoulder and the two sat in comfortable silence for the rest of night with random conversations here and there.

 

***

 

Jinyoung reluctantly walked into Jaebum’s apartment for another one of their many group gatherings. He just doesn’t understand why out of the many places they could go to, they had to go to Jaebum’s. Luckily, Jackson was the one who opened the door for him. He gave Jinyoung a pat on the shoulder and an empathic look and left to join Mark and Youngjae in front of the TV. Jinyoung took a moment to look around the house. There was no doubt that this was Jaebum’s apartment, the simple decorations, a few photos hung on the wall and five cats crawling around the place. Jinyoung was surprised that Nora, Jaebum’s first cat still remember him. The two of them found her alone on the side of the road on a rainy day and Jaebum decided to take her in. Jinyoung bent down to pat the cat who was no longer as small as Jinyoung remembered her to be. He cooed at the sight of her stretching lazily.

 

A small photo on the counter caught Jinyoung’s eyes. The Jinyoung in the photo was smiling so sweetly, with the reflection of Jaebum holding his camera in Jinyoung’s eyes. He remembered that day clearly. It was one of _those_ days where it would be too painful to remember, and yet it was so special.

 

It was the day Jinyoung found out he was accepted to Seoul National University. And the day where Jaebum was over the moon to the point where he could not stop smiling the whole day and was being extra clingy. They were lying around Jinyoung’s room, doing nothing in particular, sneaking kisses and cuddles everywhere. That was before _that_ happened. When they were still happy and naive.

 

“I can take it off if you don’t want to see it,” Jaebum’s voice came from behind. “I just... I just really like that photo that’s all.”

“it’s fine,” was all Jinyoung managed to say after staying silent for God-knows how long.

They stood still, no one saying anything. The noise from the living room was faint to the two, Jaebum and Jinyoung felt as if they were in their own little world.

 

“Nyoung-ah, I’m sorry,” Jaebum whispered.

“What’s the point of saying sorry now?” Jinyoung fired back. “It’s too late already,” he said softly.

“I…I know you probably hate me and you definitely have the right to,” Jaebum paused for a moment as if he was gathering courage to finish his sentence. “But…can you give me a second chance?”

JInyoung kept staring at the photo, knowing that if he looked at Jaebum, he would probably run into his arms and kiss those twin eyes moles and say yes. But he didn’t know if he was ready to start again with Jaebum. Sure, it had been two years but it was blatantly clear to everyone that it still hurt and the scar was still unhealed. The scar in his heart was too deep to the point where it wasn’t clear whether it could ever be healed. Jackson’s words ringed in Jinyoung’s head, _why don’t you just swallow up your pride for once and face your feelings_. But can he actually do that? Jinyoung could not even answer that question himself.

 

After leaving Jaebum’s question unanswered for what felt like a decade, the elder saw Jinyoung muttering to himself, struggles evident on his face. Among all this doubt, there was still a tiny slither of hope. And with that Jinyoung decided to take that risk of repeating history. And maybe this time, the ending would change into a happier one.

“Sure.” Jinyoung was so quiet that Jaebum barely caught his answer. But when he registered what Jinyoung just said, it took Jaebum a big effort to stop himself from yelling out of joy on the spot. Instead, he looked at the younger and smiled at him, staring into Jinyoung’s eyes. To Jaebum’s content, Jinyoung returned the smile even if it was just a small one.

 

When Jaebum and Jinyoung walked out, Jackson sensed that something changed between the two. Somehow they felt less awkward around each other, but Jackson couldn’t wrap his mind around the atmosphere between the two now. He glanced at Jinyoung who looked more relaxed when he walked in earlier. Jinyoung noticed Jackson kept throwing looks at him, he turned to his best friend and gave him a smile that indicated “everything’s fine” and continued paying attention to the round of Fortnite Mark and Youngjae were playing. As he was sitting on the couch, BamBam came over and cuddled Jinyoung like the big baby he was. Jinyoung smiled sweetly and petted BamBam’s hair, fulfilling his duty as eomma of the group. Jaebum quietly walked over and handed Jinyoung a cup of steaming hot chocolate with whipped cream on the top, exactly how Jinyoung likes it.

“Why don’t I get one?” BamBam pouted, peeking up at Jaebum. “Hyung, this is blatant favouritism,” he whined.

“If you want one, you can go get one on your own,” Jaebum replied savagely.

Jinyoung sipped on his hot chocolate while eyeing the two in their little staring contest and beamed. They looked like a little boy fighting with their dad over the tiniest thing. Yugyeom came to BamBam’s side and handed him a cup.

“You don’t need Jaebum hyung, you have me.” Yugyeom said and both Jinyoung and Jaebum cooed at his words.

“Trust me Bam, no one can compete with Jinyoung hyung. He’s always been Jaebum hyung’s favourite.” Youngjae commented, keeping his eyes fixated on the screen.

“That’s not true,” Jaebum argued, “I dote on you as well.”

“Yeah but you didn’t deny that Jinyoung hyung is your favourite,” BamBam pointed out.

“Ooohhh” and “Chuchuchuchu” were the responses from Jackson, Youngjae and Yugyeom.

“Oof, called out,” Mark smirked.

Jaebum turned to glance at Jinyoung whose cheeks were coloured in red. The younger moved towards Jaebum and laid his head on the elder’s shoulder.

“Aww, how domestic,” Jackson said.

Jinyoung and Jaebum shared a knowing smile.

 

***

 

While the seven of them were preparing dinner, actually correction, when the parents were preparing dinner and the kids were sitting in the living room chatting, Jinyoung’s phone lit up.

“Jinyoung-ie, it’s Hyunwoo hyung,” Jackson yelled in the direction of the kitchen.

Jinyoung sprung up upon Jackson’s words and met Jaebum’s eyes.

“I promise there’s nothing between us,” Jinyoung tried explaining.

“It’s fine, Nyoung-ah. There’s no reason as to why you need to explain to me,” Jaebum replied bitterly.

Jinyoung picked up his phone, observing the elder’s reaction not-so-subtly.

“Hi, Jinyoung-ah. How have you been?” Hyunwoo’s voice came through from the other side.

“Um...good thank you. What about you, hyung?” Jinyoung said, trying to make himself sound as normal as possible regardless of the unwavering tension in the room.

“I’ve been good as well. I was just wondering if you would like to watch a movie with me this weekend. We talked about a second date, remember?” Jinyoung didn’t have the heart to tell Hyunwoo he didn’t want to hang anymore considering the elder sounded so hopeful. But at the same time, Jinyoung really wanted to give Jaebum and himself another shot.

“Um...sure. Let’s go watch a movie this weekend.” Jinyoung finally answered and he could feel Jaebum’s states from behind.

“Great! I look forward seeing you this Saturday!” Jinyoung could practically hear Hyunwoo’s smile through the screen.

All he could reply was with a less enthusiastic, “Yeah, can’t wait as well.”

 

As soon as Jinyoung hung up and turned around, he could saw six pairs of eyes staring at him.

“Sooo, things are going good with Hyunwoo hyung I see,” BamBam the ever so oblivious child pointed out, completely ignorant to the tension between Jaebum and Jinyoung.

“Have fun at the movies, Jinyoung-ah,” Jaebum said in a sarcastic manner.

Hearing that the elder didn’t address him with the nickname anymore, Jinyoung felt as if his heart dropped down to his stomach.

“Yeah, I will,” Jinyoung muttered sadly. “Could I talk to you in private?”

Jaebum flinched. He knew it was risky to talk him alone right now. He wouldn’t be able to talk to Jinyoung at the moment without interrogating him with questions that he would be afraid to hear the answers of. He didn’t want to have false hope that their relationship could continue, only for it to be crushed again.

“No, I rather watch the game,” Jaebum said, “Maybe later, Jinyoung-ah.”

Jinyoung nodded unwillingly, “Let’s talk later then…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry this chapter took me so long. I had school and exams earlier in the month but it's summer holidays now so I plan to write more. Once again, I need to thank @michmich for always spending her time betaing my work. So yeah, I hope you liked this chapter and I promise I will update soon.
> 
> STAN GOT7 <3


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